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性文化冲突下华裔母亲伤痛
Chinese mother’s pain and frustration under sex ed curriculum

对加国移民母亲朱迪莱说, 儿子迈克尔一直令其引以为豪。除了拿到学术奖,就读大二的迈克尔多才多艺,极其独立并且富有爱心。但是当朱迪发现迈克尔开始和女友同居后,她深感震惊和愤怒。

Judy, an immigrant mother is proud of everything that her son Michael has accomplished: Apart from being academic awards winner, Michael, a university sophomore, is talented, highly independent and has a caring heart.  But when Judy found out that Michael began to sleep with his girlfriend, she was shocked and angry.


朱迪称:“我一直认为他是一个“好”孩子,我从未想到他会让我这般失望,还没有结婚就和女孩同居。”

 “I believe he is a great kid. But I’ve never expected that he would do something that lets me down: sleeping with a girl without getting married.”


但是迈克尔却想不通他的个人性生活为什么会让母亲如此不安。在他看来,和女友同居是很正常的事,这与他们是否结婚无关,并且大部分西方母亲都不会反对这种事情。迈克尔回忆称,他室友的母亲在儿子离家返校前往其书包里塞了一包避孕套,而这名室友也吹嘘称在新生周内所有避孕套都已使用殆尽。

But Michael didn’t understand why his personal sexual life would upset his mother. To him, it is nothing but normal to sleep with his girlfriend -- regardless of whether or not they are married, and most Western mothers are not against it. Michael remembers that his roommate’s mother had stuffed a pack of condoms into his son’s bag before he left home for school, and he boasted of having used them all during the frosh week.  


在西方文化的熏陶下,加国青少年性生活非常开放,有过性行为的青少年人数迅速增加。据调查显示,绝大多数(75%)加国大学生都有性伴侣,其中有许多学生早在高中时就已偷尝禁果。

Under the Western culture, Canadian youths keep a very active sex life, and sexual activities among teens are growing rapidly. According to the surveys, the majority (75%) Canadian university students have sexual partners, and many of them have tasted the forbidden fruits as early as in high school years. 


但是这种高度开放的性观念却令朱迪深感不安,她对此难以接受。在将性话题视为禁忌的共产主义社会中成长起来的朱迪代表了加国的移民一代,他们认为西方性观念与他们自己的性观念相悖,在他们看来婚前性行为有违性道德。母子之间的观念差异引发了巨大冲突,朱迪全家都因此感到不快。

But Judy has found that this wild and aggressive sexual attitude is uncomfortable and difficult to accept. Growing up in a communist society where sex was a taboo, Judy represents a generation of immigrants who believe that the Western sex value is in conflict with their own, and that having sex before marriage violates the code of sexual ethics. That different mentality between mother and son has created tremendous conflicts and discomfort at Judy’s home.


更加雪上加霜的是,朱迪亦在为10岁的女儿莉莉感到担忧,因为她不久就要在学校里通过赤裸的性教育大纲学习“最荒谬的性知识”。按照安省新修订的性教育大纲,一年级学生将学习各种性器官的名称,三年级学生将了解同性恋。此外,不同年级的学生还会学习有关手淫、同性婚姻以及口交等性知识。

Adding to the family woes was Judy’s concerns about her 10 year old daughter Lily, who will soon learn “the most absurd things about sex” through the explicit sex ed curriculum at school. Under the revamped Ontario sex ed curriculum, students will learn sexual body parts at grade 1, and homosexual at grade 3. They will learn masturbating, same sex marriage and oral sex throughout the school years.


朱迪称:“在课堂上教授这些东西极其可耻、令人厌恶并且不道德,简直是毁人子弟。”

“What has been taught in classroom is shameful, disgusting and immoral. It’s horrendously devastating,” says Judy.


朱迪认定直白露骨的性教育大纲是在推崇西方文化中的性开放,因为其中包括同性恋权利以及一些性爱作家和色情明星所倡导的一系列性权利。朱迪的担忧及其家中的矛盾冲突突显出移民社区中愈来愈普遍的一种现象,那就是有越来越多华裔家长陷入性观念和性教育大纲引发的文化冲突之中。

Judy has identifies the graphic sex ed curriculum with the sexual freedom in the Western culture, which includes gay rights and a slew of sexual rights advocated by sex writers and porn stars. Judy’s concerns and her family’s tension have highlighted a growing phenomenon among the immigrant communities, where Chinese parents are increasingly caught between the cultural clashes over sexuality and sex education curriculum. 


虽然这赤裸的性教育对于亚裔社区来说是全新的概念,但西方学校对其早就不陌生。除了安省以及加国其他地区的教育局,美国和英国的许多学区也都要求学校将性教育纳入健康教育中。

While the explicit sex education could be an entirely new concept for Asian communities, it is fairly prevalent in Western schools.  Besides school boards in Ontario and the rest parts of Canada, many school districts in the US and UK require schools to teach human sexuality as part of the health education. 


许多移民家长,尤其是亚裔和穆斯林社区的家长都认为性教育可能会教坏他们的孩子,因为这会向孩子灌输与其自身文化脱离的价值观和观念,鼓励他们从事家长强烈反对的性行为。

Many immigrant parents - particularly in the Asian and Muslim communities – believe the sex ed may corrupt their children. It will indoctrinate their children with values and beliefs that are foreign to their own culture, encouraging them to behave in a way that they are seriously opposed to.

朱迪称:“我的两个孩子都是在这里出生成长,他们都有双重文化背景,并深受其同龄人以及西方社会对青少年的期许的影响。”

“Both of my kids are born and raised here. They're bicultural, and are heavily influenced by their peers and what is expected of a teenager in the Western society,” says Judy.


如果朱迪的女儿在结婚前失贞或是性生活开放,那势必会成为她的噩梦。然而尽管遭到一些族裔家长团体的抗议,有些安省教育部和某些教育局仍坚决支持性教育大纲,这也让许多家长深感无奈,并急于寻找替代教育以免孩子受到伤害。

It would be Judy’s nightmare if her daughter loses her virginity before her marriage or if she adopts more aggressive sexual lifestyle. But despite the protests by some ethnic parent groups, the tough stands on sex ed taken by the province and some school boards have left many parents feeling vulnerable and scrambling to find alternative education for their children to avoid the harm.

 
朱迪称:“我将竭尽所能避免我的女儿受到这种伤害……西方的性开放已经伤了我的儿子,我不想看到女儿成为下一个受害者。”

“I will try my best to pull my daughter out of this… The Western sexual freedom has harmed my son, and I don’t want to see my daughter to become another victim,” said Judy. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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