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在北美享受数代同堂的隔代亲(观点,中英对照)

Opinion: Multigenerational homes strengthen intergeneration bonds
来源: 大中网/096.ca 南茜(Nancy Jin)
在我三岁的时候,在文革运动进行的如火如荼之际,暴力和骚乱袭扰着北京。为了保护我免遭暴力侵害,我50多岁的外婆在一个夜晚背上我,登上拥挤的火车前往她的老家山西。在她的呵护照料下,我度过了几年快乐,无忧的童年,直到文革运动渐渐平息,她又把我带回北京。成年的我看重祖父母亲情,在我父亲去世,孩子出生后,把我母亲接到我多伦多的家,同居一个屋檐下,我母亲给了我的孩子毫无保留的爱,成为他们生活中不可缺少的人物。

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When I was three years old, violence and chaos gripped Beijing as the Cultural Revolution fetched its fever. My maternal grandma, in her late 50s, carried me on her back and boarded a crowded train one night to ShangXi, her hometown, to insulate me from the violence. I spent several years of peaceful and joyful childhood under her care until she brought me back to Beijing when the chaos and upheaval died. Valuing grandparent and grandchildren bonds after reaching adulthood, I had my mother move into my Toronto home after my father died and my children were born. Living under the same roof, my mother gave her unconditional love and care to my children, being a regular fixture in their childhood life.

研究表明,祖父母和第三辈之间建立亲密关系让两代人受益匪浅。我母亲将她浓厚的中国文化背景传递给我的孩子们,在提高他们的中文水平的同时使他们又受了另一种文化的影响和熏陶。同时,天真无邪的孩子们的童年也丰富了我母亲的老年生活,使她不会在孤独和忧郁中郁郁寡欢,聊度余生。但在一个对数代同堂的家庭生活方式不屑一顾的文化背景中,这种强烈的隔代亲很难成为现实。



Research shows that a close relationship between grandparents and grandchildren benefits both parties tremendously. My mother brought her rich Chinese cultural heritage to my children's lives, helping them improve their Chinese language skills and embrace a diverse tradition and cultural identity. Meanwhile, innocent childhood gave my mother great joy and enriched her senior life that would otherwise be fraught with loneliness and isolation. But this strong intergeneration bond is hard to come by under a culture that averts multi-generation living.  

在物理生活空间宽裕的当今时代,两代成年人共同组成一个大家庭不是加拿大人最认可的理想生活方式。由隐私,家庭财政和自主权的丧失而导致的家庭矛盾可能会完全打破一家人的和睦与和谐,使这种生活方式不再令人向往。据加拿大统计局信息,只有6%的加国人士组成多代家庭。同时,占人口80%以上的绝大多数美国人选择远离这种多代同堂的家庭生活。



With plenty of living spaces, two adult generations of a family sharing the same roof is not an ideal or classical way of living for Canadians. The stresses over privacy, family finance, or autonomy deficits may disrupt the peace and harmony of the household, making the living style less appealing. According to StatsCan, only 6 percent of Canadians form a multigenerational household. At the same time, the overwhelming majority of Americans – over 80% of the population choose to refrain from having extended family living together.

但身各一方会导致祖父母和孙辈之间的关系疏远。虽然短信,推特和社交网络等科技手段促进了隔代交流,但却与同住一个屋檐下的亲昵相处不可同日而语。在美国,大约 10% 的祖父母要旅行200 英里去看与他们距离最近的孙辈,而 40% 的祖父母与最远的孙辈间距离要超过 200 英里。由于物理距离导致的家庭关系疏远,在北美,祖父母被拒之门外的现象已越来越普遍,成为一种社会流行病,使越来越多的祖父母无缘见到自己的孙辈。约有10万名安省的祖父母和10万名安省儿童成为这种社会诟病的牺牲品。



But the physical distance undermines the connections between grandparents and grandchildren. While technology makes communication possible through texting, tweeting, and skype, it pales compared to the bonds established through direct contact and living under the same roof. In the US, around 10% of grandparents travel over 200 miles to see their closest grandchild, while 40% of grandparents report traveling over 200 miles to see their furthest grandchild. Due to the weakened family ties caused by physical distance, grandparents' alienation has grown into an epidemic in North America, rendering a growing number of seniors facing refusal to have any contact with their grandchildren. About 100,000 grandparents and 300,000 children in Ontario suffer from extended family alienation.

但在日益严重的住房负担能力危机中,如今越来越多的隔代家庭选择同居一处,扭转着二战以来成为社会主导趋势的单代独居的生活方式。 此外,亚洲文化的影响也助长了数代同堂。 新的人口普查数据显示,在过去的 20 年中,拥有多代家庭的住宅数量增加了 45%,其中拥有大量南亚人口的布兰普顿社区的多代住宅比例最高。



But amid a growing housing affordability crisis, more and more inter-generation families nowadays choose to live together, bucking the trend of single-generation living that has dominated society since WWII. Also, the Asian culture influence has fueled the multi-family living style. New census data reveals the number of homes with multiple generations of a family has grown by 45% in the past two decades, with Brampton, the community with a sizable South Asian population showing the highest rates of multi-generation homes.

由于越来越多家庭尝到了数代同堂的好处,我希望这一让曾我母亲受益的居住文化不会在我这一代消失。我还希望有一天我能搬入我成年子女的住处,享受这种三代同居一处的生活方式下建立的与未来孙辈的亲情纽带。



As many families tap into the benefits of intergenerational co-residence living, I hope the Chinese tradition that had benefited my mother won't get lost in my generation. One day, I aspire to move into my adult children’s home, enjoying the bond with my future grandchildren that multigenerational living offers.



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